Unfolding and Enfolding

I wonder sometimes what in the world goes on inside my body-being.  One day sadness mixed with anxiety and another day joy rolled up with hope. Sound bi-polar doesn't it? You know naming something puts a frame around it...a box....if you will,  enabling "it" to be carried more easily.  Have you ever let yourself wonder what 'normal' means...or...'crazy'? We use those words so flippantly sometimes, I really wonder if we even know what we are saying.

I wander around thoughts like this alot when I'm not thinking linearly.  I sometimes wonder how ordinary people live...or if I am really ordinary... or if I'm extra-ordinary... and think this as a way to feel special....Probably. Yet, unboxing my thoughts has been my life's endeavor.

Just yesterday I thought that my thinking has been circling around the same ideas for awhile now. How I need to stretch my thinking and exercise those neural connections and even make new ones. I realize I need to move out of this present box-i-ness in order to grow and discover...and make new neural connections.  My head has not hurt for awhile from the stretching of thought.

However, even this thinking about stepping out of the box is also a boxing of thought too.....How about that!   One box...expanding beyond and creating another box; expanding beyond and creating another box; and another and another....all those increasingly larger boxes...feels like Christmas or one of those Russian dolls.


I think, (here I go again thinking).  I think....Who thinks?...I think...Really?....You think?...NO!...I think!

Who's on first?                 Well anyway, all joking aside...see here I go again.

I think that all this 'boxiness' needs to be more rounded....more like concentric circles expanding...unfolding enfolding, undulating, folding out and then folding back in like kneading dough almost...stretched out and then folded back in upon itself...the...unfolding and enfolding.

Well, I have just experienced the unfolding and enfolding today as a matter of fact.  I believe it was just my day to choose to be with my own thoughts. Something from within held me true to my being today.   

I felt that strange yet familiar something from within take hold of me like a hand reaching up and pulling me in close. As a matter of fact, I felt the stretch of her loving reach earlier in the week, too.  La Que Sabe, the one who knows, the wise knowing one who lives deep within me holds me, reassures me, and comforts me so that I many remain truly connected to myself.

Boxing...No!

Expanding from within, in the arms of La Que Sabe, unfolding and enfolding, just like making bread.

Is the oven ready?

It's been a long time

I have not been here to write anything for some time, however that does not mean that I've been idle. I have embarked on a new adventure into the world of full time teaching...and...what a wonderful adventure it is.  On the one hand, it is a very new adventure; and on the other hand much remains the same.  Somehow I have entered into a vortex of a world that I have already been in for sometime...yet this world within a world is new and exciting and very invigorating. Entering into an 'already been in' world creates a new form; a new way; a new me.  This 'world within a world, inner circle experience' is one that I know is not unique to me.  Others have had this experience as well.

So many times I have heard people talk about the experience of "being on the outside looking in." This is not that. This is an experience of moving more into an 'inner-ness' within an already existing world.  WOW!  Just let yourself think about what that really means. To move into an even more direct, intimate connection; to be taken into something in a new and different way; to gain access to a specialness that you always was knew was there, yet could not fully touch some how.  How many get to have this kind of experience?

I guess you could say that anyone who falls in love has this experience and you would be right.  Falling in love is without a doubt a movement into an inner world of connection that is special and sacred wherein a person feels privileged.

Climbing Mt Everest, watching a Sedona sunset, giving birth, sitting on the edge of a pond, kayaking on the Mononghela River, journeying through a divorce; entering the world of the Fairey King...except for actually climbing Mt.Everest, which I have done metaphorically many times...I am blessed to have been given access to "the inner circle" the "world within the world" many times before.

I've also been privileged to enter the inner world of many people. Perhaps, that's why I was called into my profession.  Being able to enter that inner world of someone's life - a world that is sacred, precious, awesome, holy is a very sacred life mission.

I have been called, yet again, to enter an inner world.  And, as it has ever been when I am called, I answered "YES".  I know that, yet again, I am being called for a very special reason...for a very special healing...for a very special time of empowerment. I answer, "Yes" for me...and..."Yes" for all those I encounter.

What are you answering "YES" to?